Random Things of Happiness, with a side of bittersweet (a short list)

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1. Happy Second day of Hanukkah! It's also about two weeks away from the Winter Solstice and less than three weeks to post-Christmas letdown, I mean relaxation. I am all about the Holiday(ies) of Lights. Bring back the light!


2. One of my neighbors surprised me with a visit and a plate of brownies. I was so touched and flabbergasted by this sweet gesture, I vowed to myself that someday I will actually have neighbors over. Maybe not soon, though. Christmas CHAOS and all that.


3. I just saw a picture of the sons of one of my ex-es. I was pleased and tickled to see they look like fine young men. One of them is even married now! But I was unprepared for the wash of sadness on seeing them. When I broke up with this long-ago ex (or rather, he with me), one of the hardest parts afterwards was missing his youngest son... we had become friends, and developed a bond beyond the necessary contact during my dating his dad. During the breakup, in addition to the usual pain of the situation, I also felt anguished that this ex o' mine was acting in ways detrimental to his son learning about good relationships, if that makes any sense. So it was a hard thing, to just cut off that relationship with the youngster so suddenly. I've often wished there had been opportunity for a better transition for both of us.

Well, over the years, I've forgiven my ex enough to talk with him civilly when we run into each other and even chat on occasion, and I'm always glad to hear news of his son, what he's up to and what he's trying and accomplishing. But, damn! I have not seen this kid (no longer a kid) for 10 years now. I am very glad that he appears to be happy and living a good life. I've seen some of his work, and I'm so proud of how he's worked so hard to make amazing things of his talents! *sniff!*


4. Yea for holiday concerts and plays! We have a weekend full of events, and some of them are even free! This is one of my favorite parts of the Christmas season - the wealth of music and stories. So far, I have a play, a performance and a choral concert lined up. Somewhere in there we will get our tree too...


5. I am still in love with my husband. In fact, I sometimes notice that I still get infatuated with him, and feel all goofy, which is an odd thing when one is married. I just look at him, and my heart beats faster. He's indescribably handsome and dear to me. He's mostly bemused by this. I'm so glad we share our lives.


6. I've enjoyed meeting with my students this year. Whether for 2 months, 6 months or 11 months, we've been able to learn some things, teach some things, and yes, enjoy our time together. It's always a bonus when one comes to appreciate each other beyond the student-teacher connection, or even within that. The bittersweet part is that two of my students are leaving the country at the end of this month. Their time for being here is fast running out. I have only two-three more sessions with each of them. *sniff sniff* It's sad to say goodbye to those you have been working with over a period of time, even though you know that time is not forever. Time to move on to new stages of life, new connections, new projects... A teacher's empty nest is soon filled.


7. There is a cyclical nature to everything that can be reassuring, even heartening. Now is the season for nippy weather, possible snow, colored light and busy schedules, of baking and newsy letters and reconnecting and sometimes guilt over unmet plans. I see the pictures on Flickr, and how often does the glow of the lights come through the photo stream. It's another one of those images... another one, again. It looks much like past years. And yet, it's that time again! ...The glow of the lights as another family, another person, another generation touches the warmth of community for another year. It's bittersweet, because those who lack and crave it are sometimes adrift, feeling shut out, unconnected, uncared for. We do our best to share the light.

8. Happy happy, Joy joy.

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