Showers and opinions

At the baby shower, there were lots of blue things, plush toys and clothes, and some cool items like a portable baby bed, and ultra practical things like a diaper geni@ which apparently is the going thing. It was short and sweet with snacky things and colorful Noah's Arc plates and tea cups and good wishes. Fun stories about plump breast-fed babies and child care plans... light and congenial.

It was a fun time. Many of us had not seen each other since the bridal shower/wedding. The only down spot was one woman who started up on a complaining kick giving opinions about all kinds of choices that didn't seem to have any bearing in her own experience. She held forth on what another woman friend did with pacifers, then about what she did with nursing. The final annoyance was how this other woman put a crib pad *over* all those cute sheets. The complainer just didn't like it, didn't think it was "cute." lol No sh*t, she said that. I wanted to leap out of my chair and reassure my friend that just because people were going to give her all kinds of advice, that she did not have to feel pressured by ANY of it. But I sat back and thought calming thoughts. lol Nobody else in the room said anything, either. My friend, to her credit, did not engage much with this at all. She finally laughed and said, "I imagine that cute will give way to practical." Perfect!!! I admire her attitude. She's still the open and humorous person she was when we first met in college. Not a mean or pretentious bone in her body. And I still have a few weeks to make headway on a baby quilt.

Early showers

I'm going to a baby shower for a good friend tomorrow. I got cute little warm socks and a Winnie the Poo long-sleeved, striped onesie. It was the best little outfit I could find that was not either sickeningly pink or blue (good grief) and not too expensive. But this one is cute and not too scratchy. I have disdain for scratchy baby clothes. It's also of a size that he can grow into all Winter and Spring. Yeah, I am happy at my find. ... I also have quilt plans in the works, but that project is running slower... I still have about 4 weeks to work on it if he doesn't show up early.

Interesting that I have gained a certain dispassionate distance about other people's pregnancies. I even spent some time with pregnant friends for a relaxed work-related meeting last week, and (surprise!) did not either avoid or dwell on the matter.
I think I have a new focus since we decided to pursue adoption. It's a relief after all this time to not have to obsess over my body and what it is or isn't doing, what substances go in when and how and for that matter (on the extreme end), why the hell are we denied our happiness. To not have to worry about the physical stress of it any more. Or for that matter, to not have so much emotional reaction when other people bring it up. Well, ok, I still have reaction, but it's channeled a little differently. More snark and less tears. hehehe! Should that be my new motto?

Six months ago, I would have been dubious about my going gracefully to anyone's baby shower, even for a good friend. Now, I am almost looking forward to it! I *am* looking forward to it. I am happy for her, and I'm almost happy it isn't me feeling so highly uncomfortable in these late stages. As long as people don't start acting hyper sensitive or insensitive towards me, I think I am going to do ok. Not the hyper awareness of "how difficult it must be" for me (gag), nor the obliviously callous questions and assumptions. Even if so, ... eh... I will still do ok. I am more matter of fact. I have closed that door so that people don't stumble over junk in the dark and break something of mine.

In any case, I don't have to *host* this shower; I can show up and have fun and then go home and not linger if it gets unexpectedly painful. I can just go wheee! And how exciting!! I get a honorary nephew. :) hee hee And also think--better her than me. And then contemplate a baby quit for my own little girl down the road...